wholelife action area>  getting to know myself better    my working life    personal relationships    health - mind and body    leisure, social and 'me time'    mindercises

leisure, social and 'me time'

SLOWLY AND SURELY
I used to be the hare
Raring to go
Always quick off the mark
Life in the fast lane
Everything a rush
Now I'm an understudy
For the tortoise
And I'm learning the part...
SLOWLY

This is the area of your life that it is easy to neglect, especially when things become hectic at work or when you become subservient to the time constraints of another person.

By 'work' I mean everything connected with 'work' - staying late at the office, bringing work home, being stuck in a traffic jam on the way to and from work, feeling trapped at home with a couple of screaming children and piles of housework to get through. It's at times like these when you really crave some 'spare time', some leisure time. Spare time - I haven't got time for any!

Ironically, when faced with this very same 'spare time', some of us have a tendency to sabotage our own relaxation and play the working martyr - yes human beings are a strange lot! How many people do you know who make hard work of holidays? Are you one of them? Or are you jeopardising your 're-creation' time by choosing to allow an insular relationship to monopolise your time? What about keeping yourself company for a while - are you boring yourself silly or is your' alone time' a peaceful haven when you think, read, learn, commune with nature and just 'be'?

In the words of the writer William Henry Davies [1870-1940]:
"What is this life, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?"

Cosmic-cherry would like to add:

"No time to walk in the countryside
No time to see the vibrant colours of nature
No time to smell flowers and fruit and freshly mown hay
No time to admire the beauty of animals
No time to savour a wonderful meal
No time to relax and laugh with our family
No time to learn something new which doesn't involve work
No time to watch a sentimental or funny film
No time to play with children
No time to discuss everyday trivia with our friends
No time to visit foreign countries on a proper holiday
No time to give time to a charity organisation
No time to think
There is 'no time' to lose, for the sake of our well being, we will make time!"

While this 'No time' list might be considered ‘over the top’, I hope it will stimulate you to think about what you actually value. I suggest you write down a list of the 6 to10 things you really want for your life.

How many of these things relate to your so-called 'leisure, social and alone time' - quite a few I suspect. The point I am trying to make is that your leisure, social and me time should be more than just the bit left over when you've done everything else.

Insomuch as it includes your health and relationships, it is the key time of your life! It seems to be the case that people with good social ties are motivated to take better care of themselves. Social interactions, at work or play, are thought to nurture self-esteem and give meaning to life. Purposefully spending time alone is also beneficial - today we often refer to it as ‘needing some space’.

So let's get personal and instead of working from the 'No time' list above, make your own ‘I wish I had spent more time list’.

It can be a little scary to realise that just about everything you do is the result of a choice that you have made. To reinforce this fact, I suggest you give yourself a 'decision dot day'.

The importance of choosing to spend time relaxing in the company of friends and family, or time alone, or time experiencing the wonders of the world around us should not be underestimated. For reasons which are not yet completely understood, time spent in these kind of ways is essential for our well-being.

The question "What use is art?" illustrates the inherent desire of people to dress up their mundane everyday existence to make life a pleasant experience. Art, in itself, is of no obvious survival use unless you are a commercial art dealer using it to make a living! Yet 'a thing of beauty is a joy to behold'.

One of the first things that tool-wielding primitive man accomplished was art, as the remarkable cave drawings around the world show us. Why did they bother? Why do you bother to do anything other than sleep, eat, drink, work and have sex? These basic functions would, after all, see you through.

Today many 'busy' people actually choose to spend most of their time in a very basic frenetic way - the core ingredients of their lives are essentially dull, unappetising and even harmful, without the dressing.

Our social and leisure time is the time when we add the dressing, the spice, the zest to our lives. Remember also that 'me time', time when you are alone to read, to meditate, to walk, to listen to music or to just 'be', is extremely beneficial. This wisdom came to cosmic-cherry relatively late in life, I hope that you can take it to heart sooner! Does this ring a bell with you?

Everyone reading this is going to have a unique set of leisure, social and alone time activities, some of which may also be Personal Relationship and Health issues for you.

>> Action 1: Identify your current leisure, social and alone time activities
>> Action 2: Resolve to make your leisure, social and alone time totally enjoyable!
>> Action 3: If you want to set a Target, Create Changes, Action Choices

Finally, if you really want to carry out your plan, I recommend that you keep a written diary. A good tip is to use coloured pens to denote your activities.

For example, work appointments can be recorded in red, exercise [even if it’s a reminder to go for a walk] can be in green. Social and relationship time can be in blue, use black for miscellaneous appointments eg. doctor, dentist. And if you want to go the whole hog, use a purple pen for making an appointment with yourself - your alone time!

Cosmic-cherry uses this system and it really does work – but don’t take my word for it, try it for yourself. You’ll find that there's a whole new world out there for you to enjoy.

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