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| wholelife action area> getting to know myself better my working life personal relationships health - mind and body leisure, social and 'me time' mindercises |
a close look at relationships that are now over
If you answer these questions for more than one relationship, focus on each relationship individually but also look for patterns of behaviour, beliefs and attitudes. You can, of course, choose to answer with just one past relationship in mind.
What do I feel are the main reasons why the relationship[s] did
not work out as I would have liked?
What
were my expectations? Were they realistic?
Were
my expectations the same as those of my partner?
Is
there a consistent pattern in my choice of 'unsuitable' Partners?
If
so, what can I learn from it?
Is
there a consistent pattern in my personality or behaviour
which has caused problems in the relationship[s]?
Is
there a consistent pattern in my partner's[s] personality or behaviour
which has caused problems in the relationship[s]?
Am
I the sort of person who expects my partner to make changes?
Was
I critical of him/her, but unable to see my own faults and weaknesses?
Did
I make an effort to see my partner's point of view and compromise?
Was
I obsessive about any aspect of life during the relationship?
Jealous in a sexual way? Jealous of time spent apart? Food, drink,
sex or exercise obsessed? Unable to curb my spending on unnecessary
items? A gambler? Excessively tidy to the exclusion of normal
family life? Exhibiting
hypochondriac tendencies?
Did
we have a similar approach to money - how to earn it, to spend
it,
to give it and to save it?
Was
I carrying a load of guilt to do with my sexuality, body shape
or self image?
Was
my partner carrying a load of guilt to do with his/her sexuality,
body shape or self image?
Was
I entirely open, honest and balanced in the relationship?
Did
we negotiate a fair playing field for the relationship
before we lived together/married?
Did we take time out to talk?