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| wholelife action area> getting to know myself better my working life personal relationships health - mind and body leisure, social and 'me time' mindercises |
a close look at my current relationship
What do I feel are the main reasons why our relationship is not
working out as I would like?
What
are my expectations? Are they realistic?
Are
my expectations the same as those of my partner?
Is
there a consistent pattern in my personality or behaviour which
is causing problems in our relationship?
Is
there a consistent pattern in my partner's personality or behaviour
which is causing problems in our relationship?
Am
I critical of my partner? To his/her face? To others, behind my
partner's back?
Do
I expect my partner to make changes?
Do
I acknowledge my own faults and weaknesses?
Am
I prepared to make changes?
Do
I make an effort to see my partner's point of view and compromise?
Am
I obsessive about any aspect of life? Jealous in a sexual way?
Jealous of time spent apart? Am I food, drink, sex or exercise
obsessed? Unable to curb my spending on unnecessary items? A gambler?
Excessively tidy to the exclusion of normal family life? Do I
have tendencies to hypochondria?
Is
my partner obsessive about any aspect of life? Jealous in a sexual
way? Jealous of time spent apart? Food, drink, sex or exercise
obsessed? Unable to curb his/her spending on unnecessary items?
A gambler? Excessively tidy to the exclusion of normal family
life? Does he/she have tendencies to hypochondria?
Do
we have a similar approach to money ---how to earn it, to spend
it, to give it and to save it ?
Do
I take care over my personal hygiene?
Does
my partner take care over personal hygiene?
Does
my partner have any habits which I find annoying but, although
I would like to see a change, I do not discuss them with him/her?
Am
I carrying a load of guilt to do with my sexuality, my body shape
and my self image?
Is
my partner carrying a load of guilt to do with his/her sexuality,
body shape and self image? Am I full of fears and insecurities
about the future?
Do
we have similar lifestyle wishes ---the type of home we live in,
the place where we live, the desire for children or agreement
not to have children?
Do
we have similar leisure interests?
Even
though our leisure interests are not similar, am I happy for my
partner to pursue his/her interests ?
Even
though our leisure interests are not similar, is my partner happy
for me to pursue my interests?
Do
we basically agree on a fair playing field for our relationship
- division of labour in and out of the home, the sharing and handling
of money, care of the children, care of the family pets, type
of holidays and destinations, personal space? Do we re-negotiate
and accept changes readily when circumstances change?
Do
we put aside special time to nurture our relationship? At home?
Going out together?
Am
I frequently 'too tired' for my partner? Do I allow the pressures
of children/work to exhaust me? Is my partner frequently 'too
tired' for me? What excuses does he/she use? Do we take time out
to talk?
Am
I entirely open, honest and balanced in our relationship?
To the best of my knowledge, is my partner entirely open, honest
and balanced in our relationship?