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| Return to Mind Exercises |
the last incident
There
will always be days when, however resolved you are to be ‘a good
person’, things do not always go according to plan. The worst thing
you can do under these circumstances is see yourself as a failure and
abandon your attempts to change inappropriate thoughts and actions.
Nobody is perfect and you would probably rank as a saint if you didn't,
on occasion, revert to ‘less-than-wonderful’ behaviour. The
secret to successful change is using the incident or incidents as learning
vehicles. Rather than condemn yourself, simply ask "what can I learn
from the situation?" The Last Incident Mindercise will help you with
this.
Write down the details of the last 'bad' incident in your life.
This could be the most recent time that you can recall feeling
angry, stressed or depressed, or the last time you behaved badly,
whether or not this was noticed by other people. The following
questions should help you to fill in details of the incident -
select the ones that fit best with your personal situation.
- Where
were you?
- What
time of day was it?
- What
were you wearing?
- When
and what did you last eat/drink?
- Was
anyone else involved? If so - who?
- What
triggered the incident?
- How
did you feel physically?
- How
did you feel emotionally?
- Were
you able to resolve the tension? If so how?
- If
unresolved, are you still trying to find a solution?
- Did
you react in a way that could be called a 'habit'?
- Do
you believe that you used the most appropriate strategy
for dealing with the arousal you experienced?
- What
would have been your ideal desired outcome?
- Looking
at the incident with hindsight, can you think of other ways of reacting
or dealing with the situation?
- Crucially decide at what point you could have mentally and/or physically intervened during the incident to prevent it turning out the way it did.
What
can you learn from your answers?
Write down 3 things that this Mindercise has taught you about yourself.
Write down 3 things that you are going to change as a result of doing
this exercise.
N.B. Making changes in your daily life does
require sustained effort. And the more effort you put in,
the sooner you will begin to reap the rewards!