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| Return to Mind Exercises |
your
character cue
I'd like
you to pretend that you are a character in your own life play and that
your surname is Nice or Considerate or Kind or any word that 'does it
for you'! Whether you are Mr. Peter Nice or David Serene, Mrs. Lorna Considerate,
Miss Jessica Kind or Ms Chloe Calm - welcome to the stage of your life
performance.
So how do you remember to act the part of the character in your real life
play, even when the going gets tough? You adopt a character cue!
Having a character cue is one of the most potent conditioners for change.
It is such a simple idea, yet its power can be remarkable. All you need
is a physical object that is always about
your person and available to be touched. For this reason the best items
are rings, watches, pendants, bracelets etc. You could choose a stone
or crystal which you have to remember to carry at all times in your pocket.
Here's how it works. We all think and behave at times in ways which are
inappropriate, unkind and sometimes harmful. We don't like ourselves for
this but often, even though we know we're causing an argument or being
unreasonable and moody, we just don't seem able to stop the flow. Having
a character cue allows you immediately to 'kick in' a third party - your
nice self!
Touching your cue object physically reminds you that your character needs
a prompt! It's time for your big entrance as Mr, Mrs. or Ms Nice or Calm
or whatever you've selected. The more you rehearse and practice with your
character cue, the more likely you are to be 'the person you really want
to be' on most occasions. This is because you are, in effect, conditioning
yourself to the thoughts and behaviour of your chosen persona.
The sort of circumstances where this tool is particularly useful is when
you find yourself getting unnecessarily annoyed. For example, you are
looking forward to an outing and a friend lets you down at the last moment
- you allow the disappointment to anger you. Your partner told you she
would be home by 9.30pm and turns up at 10.30pm having chatted for a while
after her evening class - you challenge her on arrival. You come in late
with your tail between your legs because you've had one too many at the
pub and your partner berates you, so you fight your corner. You feel that
your boss is picking on you but realistically there is nothing you can
do about it. Well you can - you can touch your cue object and be calm!
There are hundreds of such examples to choose from in the myriad of circumstances
which we find ourselves in every day. See for yourself how using a character
cue changes the way you see these situations and the people in them -I
promise you that your thoughts will be quite illuminating.
The secret of actually being Mr, Mrs or Ms Nice on a forever basis
is to acknowledge the good things you already
have, to improve the things which you can realistically improve
and learn to accept and deal with the things which are outside
your control to change.