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learn about your relationship with cigarettes and nicotine

I am going to assume that if you are reading this, your lungs have a relationship with tobacco fumes and tar, and that your body is addicted to nicotine? Just like the previous section on alcohol, it is important to recognise the initial pleasure that smoking gives. If people did not find smoking pleasurable they would never become hooked on the weed.

Quite apart from all the recently introduced social bans on smoking, let's be realistic as to why you are even considering quitting the addictive habit. As I've already discussed in the introduction, you really do have to want to be a non-smoker to be successful. Simply acknowledging that smoking is bad for you and is a contributory factor in several revolting diseases [which may or may not strike you down sometime in the unforeseen future] doesn't seem to work in the war against smoking.

As I'm sure you are aware there are many different methods to help you become a non-smoker from acupuncture, hypnosis, nicotine substitute implants, nicorette chewing gum to self-help support groups etc. Whether you decide to go for some outside help, or go it alone, the following breathing exercise will undoubtedly be useful.

Find a quiet spot somewhere away from cars and chemicals and dust and anything else that might pollute the air. [Difficult I know but please try!] Stand with your feet about one foot apart, your elbows relaxed by your side at right angles with your forearms held out in front of you, palms turned upwards.

Slowly take a deep breath, hold it to the count of five and then release it slowly - all the way - until your lungs feel empty. Now take another slow deep breath and repeat the process, really feeling the exhalation of air so that your lungs are ready for the next inhalation of fresh air. Continue for as long as you like. Think about breathing in fresh air and how good it feels. Imagine your lungs as living sponges enjoying the experience of interacting with clean fresh air.

This is how being a non-smoker feels - you can get high on good clean fresh air. There are a host of other benefits including the fact that you can start to taste your food again; your skin is saved from the damaging effects of smoke; your breath is sweeter and your mouth more kissable; you even have more money in your pocket for other things like holidays; your home smells better!

Ah, I hear you say, "if I become a non-smoker, I may also start eating more to compensate and end up with a weight-problem". Absolutely! I have to agree with you. If 'you choose to eat more food than you need', then you will undoubtedly put on weight.

So why choose to eat more just because you have quit smoking?
In the opinion of cosmic-cherry [a non-smoker who once used to be a 20 a day person], the relationship between smoking and eating is all down to an oral fixation which is supposed to give us some kind of uncertain satisfaction.

As a society we seem to be addicted to putting unnecessary things in our mouths - cigarettes, chewing gum, lolly pops, sugary drinks, even pencils. Once you can identify the nature of your own personal oral fixation then you can do something about it. You may choose to 'condition' yourself with a different behaviour pattern. For example, every time you feel an urge to put a cigarette or a piece of food in your mouth you could follow the deep breathing exercise above, go out for a walk, change your immediate surroundings or what you are actually doing at the time.

Alternatively you may choose to substitute a good oral experience for the cigarette or unnecessary food experience. For example you could clean your teeth with a minty toothpaste, you could chew on some healthy carrot strips, celery, cauliflower, peppers etc which could be ready prepared in the refrigerator for just such an emergency. The occasional strong mint sweet is probably OK but be careful with the chewing gum - it tends to leave you feeling empty and windy. I have also found that the sugar-free varieties can leave an unpleasant after taste in your mouth [the same with some low calorie drinks]. The result can be an increase in your craving which is clearly undesirable.

With your newfound breathing experience and your oral fixation habits in mind, try answering the questions below which are relevant to your relationship with tobacco and nicotine:

• Do I value my lungs?
• Do I accept the fact that I am putting smoke and tar in my vital breathing organs?
• Do I genuinely want to give up smoking?
  
• Why do I want to stop smoking?
  
• Do I accept the fact that I have a physical addiction to nicotine?
  
• Do I accept the fact that breaking a physical addiction requires commitment?
  
• Do I think that the guidance of a therapist would help me to stop smoking?
  
• What are my particular smoking cues --with a drink, in the car, at night etc?
  
• Can I alter my smoking cues while I am physically withdrawing from nicotine?
  
• Am I prepared to spend time practising breathing in and exhaling on purpose?
  
• Do I worry about putting on weight if I were to stop smoking?
  
• Am I prepared to re-think my unhealthy oral fixations and choose to behave differently?
  
• Am I prepared to re-think my unhealthy oral fixations and choose to substitute healthy alternatives?
  
• Would I be prepared to exercise my lungs frequently and on purpose in the fresh air?
  
• Can I visualise myself as a non-smoker?
  
• Can I feel good about myself as a healthy non-smoker?
  
• Do I choose to be a non-smoker NOW and FOREVER?

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