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learn about your relationship with food

You have to eat to live. Whatever your actual weight or perceived body image, you need to accept that a relationship with food is unavoidable. You can choose to make it a good relationship or a poor relationship. Understand the difference between an enjoyable appreciation of life-sustaining nourishment and obsessive eating patterns involving denial, addiction and self-loathing.

Respect for your body will naturally lead you to want the best for it. Why use your body as a dustbin for artificial foods which bear no resemblance to the foods that your body is designed to process and thrive on? You like the taste? I used to be a food junkie - now I like the taste of food that gives me good health and a good feeling about my body. I look on 'good' food as a friend. And yes, I still have the odd ice-cream or chocolate, but they are no longer foods that I crave. This is because I know that I can allow myself to choose them occasionally, and actually enjoy them, without becoming obsessed.

Counting calories is another way of punishing yourself by restricting intake. Learn instead about the basic natural food groups and what is good and healthy. You will be surprised to find that there is a magnificent variety of food that you can eat, and in reasonable quantity.

Often the less processed, lower fat foods are naturally more bulky than highly processed fat-laden foods, so you can fill your plate and feast your eyes! The idea is to re-create your interest in the enjoyment of preparing and eating food. This positive approach will feel completely different from the negative restrictive diet approach that so many of us have tried and failed.

"Everything I put in my mouth from now on is something that I have chosen to eat. Mostly I will be eating food as a health-giving experience. Occasionally I may choose to sample foods which are high in fat and processed carbohydrate. I will accept that 'all things in moderation' applies to food as well as life. However I will no longer view unhealthy foods as 'treats'. Rather my treats will be enjoying a variety of nourishing wholesome produce and feeling the benefits to my body and mind over a period of time".

Amazingly, if you start to eat healthy foods on purpose, you will not only feel better, you will also lose weight. If you are not carrying any excess weight you will naturally find that your appetite dictates how much you need to maintain your current healthy weight.

So what should your healthy weight be? Please do not confuse weight as given in average weight/height tables with what is your healthy body weight. Differences in gender, build and overall proportions mean that two people of the same height can have vastly different healthy body weights.

The best way to 'know' your healthy body weight is not to know it! In other words an arbitrary measurement on a scales is not what dictates health. Scales can be the scourge of health when people become obsessed with the pointer or electronic reading.

A much better way to know whether or not you need to make changes is to stand naked in front of a full-length mirror. OK, so you may not like what you see. However, if you take the time to learn about your relationship with food and make the necessary changes, what you see in the mirror, over a period of time, will be a healthier body.

It can also be a more toned body if you follow the same principles for exercising. So here are your food questions, learn about yourself and your relationship with this essential element of your life:

• Do I consider that I have a Iove-hate relationship with food?
  
• Am I constantly thinking about food?
  
• Do I wake up in the morning and plan what I am not going to eat today?
  
• Am I obsessive about calorie counting?
  
• Have I tried a number of food restricting diets without permanent success?
  
• Do I sometimes eat very little for several days and then stuff myself with food?
  
• Do I binge eat and then make myself vomit?
  
• Do I feel self-righteous when I restrict my food intake?
  
• Do I eat when I am not hungry?
  
• When I 'break' a diet do I lose my self-control and revert to overeating?
  
• Do I see dieting as a good thing?
  
• Am I bored with life and use food as something to do?
  
• Am I depressed and see food as a comfort factor?
  
• Are there any factors from my childhood which affect the way I relate to food?
  
• Is worry about food/eating causing problems in my personal relationships?
  
• When invited out socially, do I worry about what I am going to eat?
  
• Do I choose to re-think my relationship with food?
  
• Do I choose to learn to enjoy preparing and eating healthy nourishing food?

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